12/2/2023 0 Comments Half past dead![]() 'Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed. Nick is thrown out of a moving vehicle and bounces up unscathed and despite this being a state-of-the-art prison, doors aren’t bullet-proof. Verse 1 I pulled into Nazareth, was feeling about half past dead I just need some place where I can lay my head. Just how will they get off the island? Seagal’s all slap-happy with his increasingly glacial martial arts and opponents do pirouettes when they’re touched. They exchange banter about how to pronounce “ai-ight” and Nick says that famously ethnically ambiguous Seagal is “whiter than I thought!”Īnyway, when 49er 1 and his team of mercenaries descend from a helicopter, they have two things to contend with: a bitter Seagal (who seems partial to prison food given his girth) and a crashed escape helicopter. Steven Seagal plays Sasha, a Russian American undercover FBI agent who earned the trust of Nick (Ja Rule), who was under the employ of an evil Swedish (we’re guessing) European criminal mastermind. There’s only one thing standing in his way: a 6’4 past-his-salad days martial artist with a do-rag! Enter 49er 1 (played by Morris Chestnut), a Bosnia vet who hatches a plan to spring Lester from the infamous island prison, get the money and “work on his tan” (sounds better coming out of the mouth of African American Morris Chestnut than say, Silvio Berlusconi). The problem is, he’s the only one who knows where the money is and he ain’t talking. Alcatraz houses a death-row inmate Lester, who’s embezzled hundreds of millions of dollars. Noticed that the non-live version of this song wasn't on youtube.Lyrics:I pulled into Nazareth, was feelin' about half past deadI just need some place where. I pulled into Nazareth, was feelin' 'bout half past dead I just need some place where I can lay my head Hey, Mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed He just grinned and shook my hand, 'No,' was all he said Take a load off, Fanny Take a load for free Take a load off, Fanny And (and, and) you put the load right on me (you put the load right on me) I picked up my bag, I went lookin. The “new” Alcatraz (re-opened as part of a California gubernatorial tough-on-crime agenda) is run by “Il Fuego,” a warden with a Napoleonic complex who claims he’s harder than all the inmates (that is, in the toughness not the below-the-waist meaning of the term). Half Past Dead is a jail break film based on a phenomenon which is frequent enough that Wikipedia has a page devoted to it: helicopter prison escapes. When a sinister European international gangster stereotype says “I am a soldier trained in the art of killing” we know we’re stamping our passports for a visit to Craplandia. Enjoy the REALLY AWFUL MOVIES PODCAST Subscribe – Blubrry – Stitcher – iTunes –
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